4 conversations in 4 days: Boobies, Iranian Dilemmas, Chutzpah

Ami Kaufman By Ami Kaufman November 3, 2011 | Edit
Monday: Boobies

Big daughter (4-year-old): Abba, Mommy is very beautiful.
Me: Yes, sweetie pie, she is.
Big daughter: Abba,  I want to be tall like Mommy.
Me: I hope you’ll be tall like Mommy, too.
Big daughter: But Abba, I don’t want big boobies.

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Tuesday: The true Iranian dilemma

She: So, can we leave now?
Me: Why, what happened?

She hands me the headlines, saying that Bibi is trying to get a majority of ministers to support the attack on Iran.

Me: We have to wait.
She: For what?
Me: To see if they do it.
She: Why not leave before they do it?
Me: But what if we left and they didn’t do it?

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Wednesday: The true Iranian dilemma II

Me: So, I’ve been thinking, if the rockets from Gaza or Iran hit our area, we should run to the kitchen.
She: No, I’ve already thought about it. We have to take cover in the corridor. It’s got a reinforced ceiling.
Me: You sure?
She: Yup.
Me: OK.

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Today: Israeli Chutzpah

I got a call from the Aguda Lema’an Hachayal today. Before I tell you this conversation, take a look at the intro on their website:

The Aguda Lema’an Hachayal (The Association of the Wellbeing of Israel’s Soldiers – AWIS) is probably the most widely known organization in Israel, capturing the best of Israel and all that went into the making of the modern Jewish state: patriotism, commitment and a strong community spirit.
Here’s how the call went:

Me: Hello?
Him: Hello, I’m calling from the Aguda Lema’an Hachayal and we would like to know if you’re interested in donating to soldiers, or “lone soldiers” who come to Israel from abroad to serve our country.
Me: No, thank you, I’m not interested in donating at the moment, sorry.
Him: Really? (His voice rises, sounds very pissed off) You’re not interested in donating to Israeli soldiers?? Wow, good for you. Really, really good for you.

And hangs up in my face.

Ami Kaufman

Ami Kaufman was chief night editor for Haaretz, for the prominent Israeli financial daily Calcalist, and correspondent on Israeli affairs for 93.6 RAM FM, a joint Palestinian-Israel radio station. His interest in food and cooking led to culinary studies at the "Israeli CIA" (Tadmor, Herzliya) and a brief stint in the restaurant business. Born in Tel Aviv, Ami lives in Bat Yam with his wife and two daughters. In his spare time he blogs at Half & Half.

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